We are overwhelmed by the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Our hearts break for those in Newtown, Connecticut. There are no words that can express the shock, sadness and anger we are all feeling, especially as parents, school staff and community members who are feeling sympathy, even the empathy.
We all reach to our loved ones and hold on tight. And as parents, we fear for our children and their thoughts. But we must not let our anxiety rub off on our children. Instead, we must let them know you and your family are okay.
When your children arrive back home, turn off the news. These images can be hard for children to comprehend. Instead, let them talk about it if they need. Don’t give too many details, however. “Be honest, but measured [about what you share] based on your child’s age.” -parenting expert, NBC News. Young children are not able to grasp death just yet. Let them know that this tragedy very rare and your child and your family are all safe. For older children, be present when they learn of the news. Do not force them to talk, but be available to them when they are ready.
For all of us who are not a part of this community, we must re-engage in your normal day-to-day activity for our children. Children may not learn understand the reality. The shock and trauma may take time to sink in. Young children may revert back, have nightmares, ask to sleep in bed with you, wet the bed. Be prepared to listen to them, love them and tell them they are safe.
Be aware of extra precaution schools may take to ensure the safety of the children. Find out if your child’s school/teacher will address the tragedy. If so, be prepared to discuss the events (with the necessary details for your child’s age) with them this weekend and again after school Monday.
Don’t be surprised to see your child’s pretend play include guns, murders and more in the near future. Do not discourage this play. Children often play out their fears and worries (even with little apparent emotion). If your child wants you to join that play, follow his/her lead. Do not redirect their play. Express your own feelings, but do not force them onto your child. This type of dramatic play is therapeutic for children and will help them overcome their fears.Again, our hearts go out to the loved ones of the victims and survivors.
